sure. - #51
For those that are new, the newsletter is divided into two sections: “Hello Friends” and the Essay/Story. Thanks._
Hello Friends!
“Enter the Kettlebell” = good stuff. My new gym is in Mission Junction, near downtown LA. Think of the area as an industrial neighborhood with trucks, train stations, small factories, and the county sheriff. They blare Soundcloud rap on their speakers and their garage doors are always open — together, they make the place COVID safe.
I’m also eating a can of oysters a day to keep the doctor away. And blueberries. And avocado. Don’t forget the garlic! Lots of garlic.
Hey, look at me, I’m writing words and taking online courses by writers.
Aside from that, nothing else is going on! For my friends that I met with recently that are reading these words, you all know that’s bullshit.
…
Enjoy the story.
3min reading time.
hey becky. what are you doing tonight
i’m cooking cilantro with my cousin while we kick cats in the moonlight. You?
lol watching tv, if ur down we can watch a kung fu movie
Sure lol
okay cool does 7 work?
sure.
okay...
what?
I mean, do you partake in kung fu cinema?
?
you said sure
Yeah?
You mean like sure yeah lets do that or sure why not
I mean sure lmao?
sure lmao?
ye lol like sure i’m down.
Ok but you used a period so I was unsure if you actually want to hang out or not
wtf? Sure means sure, idk what ur going on about. i used a period, ok
Yeah but texting “sure.” with a period has a different connotation than “sure!” or “sure”
What? No it doesn’t. SURE MEANS SURE
That’s like basic gen z rules becky. I thought you were more cultured than this
“Yes, Tyler, affirmative. I would like to join you tonight for this film at your residence.” you want that? Does that clear up everything?
Ok thats just weird
WEIRD? IM WEIRD. wow
Yeah ofcourse nobody talks like we’re robots, that be weird
But using sure with a period is just as weird?
…want me to explain why you got no chill in ur texts lol
Uuuuhh sure lmao
Okay so when two people are texting each other, the tone is set by their use of punctuation and wording. like if i use all lowercase lettering with little to no punctuation and throw in an acronym for slight amusement i sound like im just chillin lol. But if I use all uppercase lettering in my sentences with proper punctuation, I sound like I’m being serious. And so when people are texting like this: “blah blah blah fuck” then it sounds like a casual conversation. If i sprinkle in an exclamation point, then im up and cool about it! (though a guy should never use more than two exclamation points in a text message, unless he’s gay. If he’s not, then that’s creepy, unless they are next to each other!! which even then is questionable lol, women can do as many exclamation points as they want!!!). Question marks: are they always needed? Yes! Periods? That’s a whole other ball league we’re playing with. periods are used differently than typical real life convos. If I text “im down” it feels fast and loose like it was typed in a jiffy. if i text “im down.” well... it feels definite and certain and whatever you wrote you might as well carve it into stone. So... when you write “sure” it comes off as “cool” or “sweet” like a gentle affirmation to the other person’s statement, like not much thought was put into it. When you write “sure.” it’s like omg what did i do, like imagine someone saying “sure.” with the most un-enthusiastic tone ever set to human speech like you could give less of a fuck about whatever the other person said because whatever question they asked was fucking meaningless. That’s what “sure.” means. You might be asking what’s safe then? “sure!” is the only appropriate response if you want to use the word sure as an affirmative, >proactive< response. This rule applies to “okay!” and “fine!” tho “fine” has almost the same effect as “sure.” because “fine” gives off an invisible period. And if youre wondering about it, emojis are a buffet of gen z texting rules, but basically the following emojis are for all instances of positive casual interactions: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 😊. Anything outside of those is for other instances or different tones of conversation. and especially if anyone ever uses an emoji as a substitute for a noun… uhh, just run. so yeah do all this and you’ll be hip fam lol
what if I hate having conversations over text.
oh. then idk
😐
are u still down for 7?
sure.