On the Right Side of History - #34
Hello Maiyah (and friends)!
I’ve been… okay. Coronavirus cases are climbing again and I’ve been sluggish in life lately. I blame not exercising, but overall I’m okay. I’ll tell you all more in Silly Sh*t.
On to this week’s essay; I’m trying to clock in at 1000 words. I want lesser words to pack a greater punch. Enjoy my sh*tpost.
On the Right Side of History
1,027 words | 03min 58sec reading time
They say if he was alive in the 21st century, Mark Twain would’ve been a modern day liberal. I think academics say this because it was apparent in his writings and fake Internet quotes that he had beliefs that weren’t consistent with the society in which he lived. Of course, he dropped the N-word in his books like it was added salt to a dish. Though you could argue he was simply creating characters who spoke and acted like the people of his day. Whatever you think, overall, he was ahead of his time in his beliefs.
I’m not here to compare myself to one of the greatest satirists in American literature – that’d be stupid. But what I am here to talk about is making sure I’m on the right side of history much like Twain was.
You see, we got a lot of interesting baggage from the people that we admire. Baggage and beliefs that are not exactly cool by today’s standards. Like… Gandhi forced young girls to sleep in bed with him to test his celibacy. Martin Luther King Jr. was an unabashed plagiarizer on his PhD dissertation, speeches, and books. Repeatedly in his diaries, Albert Einstein was a xenophobe toward Asians, particularly the Chinese. Here’s a gold nugget from someone you might know:
The year 2100 will see eugenics universally established. […] The only method compatible with our notions of civilization and the race is to prevent the breeding of the unfit by sterilization and the deliberate guidance of the mating instinct. […] Certainly no one who is not a desirable parent should be permitted to produce progeny.
– Nikola Tesla, 1935
“Well those people changed human history, don’t go after them. What about normal people?” Well, apparently late-night talk show comedians named Jimmy have a predisposition toward blackface. Who would’ve thunk. However, I will admit, celebrities like Fallon and Kimmel apologize for their past remarks or actions, unlike historical figures who went to their grave saying “f*ck you, that’s what I think”.
You could say they were products of their time. You could say their beliefs could do no better because they didn’t know any better. But what you can’t say is that you can’t be a bigot in the information age. If you don’t believe me, check your Facebook feed.
Therefore, regardless of how much knowledge is at my fingertips, I want to make sure my beliefs will be “future proof”. Think of it this way: Talk to your grandparents, heck, maybe even your parents. Trust me – they’ll all die thinking cargo shorts are cool. As for me, I’ll die thinking goatees are totally lame, contrary to Figure A:
So let’s jump about 50 years in the future where I’m 72 and the year is 2070. I invited the grandkids over to my timeshare on Mars where they’ll spend the summer kicking rocks, ice skating, and developing osteoporosis. And one night when it drops to a chilly -195° F, I’ll turn on the fireplace and huddle the grandkids around. And they’ll have to pay attention because internet is still not on Mars.
“Grandpa, what was it like living through Trump’s four terms as president?”
“Well Chenguang（晨光）it was kind of rough. Hated him from the beginning to the bitter end. I guess nobody realized for 15 years he was a complete moron.”
“Grandpa… why was I designed? Like… why do I have blue eyes?” my granddaughter Louise asks.
“Well, on you being genetically altered, I’m glad they made some changes. You were going to come out with schizophrenia or some sh*t so the hospital was like ‘hey, do you want the basic package where we fix all the genetic defects, or the deluxe package where every fiber of her being can be customized’ and since there was a Juneteenth Day sale going on, your mom said ‘oh sh*t, 50% off! Let’s do it!’ And that’s why you’re really pretty sweetheart.”
“Grandpa… nobody uses ‘shit’ anymore,” my 13-year old grandson, Zəu@X-iii, retorted.
“Sorry,” I reply, “I forgot the ‘hip’ word nowadays is ‘◻︎◆︎❍︎◻︎♏︎❒︎■︎♓︎♍︎🙵♏︎●︎’.”
My other granddaughter, January, stays quiet. I ask her, “What’s the matter? What’s been going on?”
“Hmm,” she replies, “there’s this really nice Brazilian-Swedish boy in my class, but he never seems to notice me.”
“Well back in my day, we had to sit in the same class and not be in 3D simulated environments. Have you thought about, I don’t know, messaging him?”
“On different servers?!”
“Yeah,” I reply. The room goes quiet.
Chenguang cringes and clenches her teeth.
“Haha, uhh… I’ll try that. Thanks grandpa,” January says.
“I’m so bored,” Zəu@X-iii voices out, “Grandpa, mom wants me to go to college! Why can’t I just download my major into my head?”
I go, “Zəu@X-iii, I know. You’re almost 14 and are dying to download everything. I understand. But nothing beats the real, visual experience of being on a college campus. You get to live so many different things and learn so much about what you desire. Skip the download. Go do the real thing.”
“Grandpa, what if I marry a dog?” Louise asks.
“Fine, f*ck it, go ahead, I don’t care.”
“Grandpa, what if I identify as non-binary?” Louise asks.
“Cool, just let the DMV know.”
Louise thinks… “Grandpa, what’s a jungle like?”
Chenguang butts in – “Grandpa, what if I fall in love with an android?”
“Then you do. I don’t necessarily agree with loving a robot-”
“Android… they’re called Androids… not the R-word…”
“Sorry sweetheart. I understand. I don’t agree with loving an Android as it’s manufactured to love you. Can’t love a toaster. Well, if it toasts good, then yes. But real human love cannot be replaced. Do what you want to do though; don’t let me stop you.”
“Remember kids – I’m trying my best to understand everything happening today. It was a lot simpler back then and I’m simply not used to all this… on that note, whoooo wants to listen my Spotify playlist!”
“Grandpa, uhh, we’re good… Calvin Harris and Drake are kinda old.”
“What? This shit is fire, like fuckin lit fam.” I show them the EP cover with my smartphone while they run upstairs for bed. “Look at that drip! LOOK AT IT!”
News&Video
The Most british remix I’ve ever heard. The DJ that remixed it says he and his DJ friends have a game to see who can pull off a remix of the BBC News jingle during a club/rave/etc and see how long they can go without anybody noticing.
Silly Sh*t
Remember when I said I wrote a strongly worded letter to the unemployment office of California because they didn’t believe I was literally Don Rutledge? Welllll guess who got a telephone hearing! That’s right — this guy! And all it took was a few family-friendly harsh words.
In other news, my mother said that LA seems to be opening soon again… which means back to my life in Los Angeles. And I’ve been thinking. Should I really go back to office temping, or should I apply to be an Executive/Personal Assistant? I think becoming an assistant to a producer or actor of some kind would give me some sort of next step I need. Basically to keep as a day job. I have way more than a year of experience and can totally do assistant work. SOOOoooo… if any of you know of anybody that is needing an assistant, totally hit me up. Cause I need money and a job soon. Like… soon. And CAA recently called me to interview for an assistant job, but I don’t want to work in a talent agency… so I turned it down.
Does anybody have the UTA job list…
Visited Galveston last week and met up with family. I didn’t feel safe visiting grandma, to which she replied, “What are you talking about? I don’t have COVID?”
This evening, I just received word that I have found my roommate! He is a very cool guy and looks like he’ll be moving in near the end of July possibly.
Anybody have the UTA job list…
I went down to Austin this past Monday night. Cool people.
Started the audiobook "The Crowd: Study of the Popular Mind”. Thanks {M} for the recommend!
My mother said I should apply for jobs here in Texas so that when I go back, there’ll be a job waiting for me. And to stay in Texas till I get a job. I don’t know. Goddamnit.
UTA job list… please…
Best,
Don
As always, anybody can reach me at [dnrtldg@outlook.com](mailto: dnrtldg@outlook.com)
And for my friends… you all got my number. Feel free to text me.